TOUGHSTUFF: I KID YOU NOT!

Having said that it would be downright ironic to think that despite being in a mental turmoil my studies have surprisingly not inched down a bit. In fact I'd go as far as to say I have never studied better since, well. the last time I studied well.

The next appropriate question (assumption being you care enough to wonder) would be "what then is pricking your balls?", to which I can say "Oh, , just about everything!". "But why so?" and I would unleash a full tirade on why despite being told endlessly to appreciate the little things I have I have yet to settle down with what I have.

But really, you've probably heard this a million times before from me--So, lest I lose interest I shall move on to my social commentary.

Before I begin, allow me to describe the perfect relationship--which, of course encompasses most; be it love, friendship, kinship, etc. Family relationships work on an absolutely different dynamic, of course, and for that reason would be an exception for my observation. The perfect relationship in an ideal world would be one built solely on mutual respect and compromise with no selfish expectations on part of both parties.

But as we all know, that is rarely ever the case. In one extreme there would be perfect, absolute submission of one (or both parties) to the other party bordering on obsession and adoration, one that would nevertheless include blatant selflessness in favor of the other party. On the other side of the spectrum would be a relationship set purely for the perks--once the other party cannot contribute further, the connection is as good as over.

Unless you happen to be God (with respect to the first scenario) or an egocentric, heartless machine (second scenario) it is likely people like us fall somewhere between the two--and that will be the focus of my observation. Of course, talking about the better polarity of the spectrum would be boring at best--and hence i shall talk about the less pure, less talked about facet of relationships.

I am probably being very vague at the moment-- suffice to say from what I have observed, I would like to point out that most relationships, whether we admit it or not, is often perpetuated and motivated by selfish wants.

Take, for an example, friends. More often than not friendships form when there is a need for companionship or heck, the need to feel popular when taken in context of highschool cliques. I suppose on a more human level it is, in a sense a justification of self worth. Nobody likes to feel unliked, if you get what I mean. When love is concerned, the motivations are countless: sure, I'm not denying the possibility of pure, unconditional love; but really, don't they all begin anyway with the motivation of gaining external beauty, or riches, or even obtaining favors for oneself? Are humans not enamored by wisdom or skill and by extension would want to be as close as possible to people who are capable of such? If not, i would say even the need for closeness or intimacy is motive enough. And don't even get me started on relationships based on sex.

Human love is never unconditional--friendships, love, all selfish. Even family fails sometimes.

Sad, isn't it?